MY 

STORY

Hi love. 

I'm Cal. I am an earth honoring artist and heart-led entrepreneur with a big lion-heart. I live where the high desert meets the sacred Sangre De Cristo Mountains -- Taos, New Mexico.

 

From a young age I had an eagerness to run in the opposite direction of the traditional path that was being laid out before me, I just didn’t know how. 

 

I experienced crippling anxiety and depression from a young age. My family labeled me as “highly sensitive”. I did the best that I could with the tools that I had at the time. I numbed my big emotions with medication for seven years of my life. I lived in a fog -- those years feel lost forever. I wasn't in control. 

I travelled to Ireland the summer before my last semester to research the connection between my tribe -- The Choctaw Nation of OK -- and the Irish. I experienced the biggest heart opening of my life in Ireland. I traveled throughout Europe for a month with my best friend and my heart broke open even more.

 

Synchronicity after synchronicity led me to a quick realization that I had ignored my intuition for way too long. I made the path by walking it -- I didn’t need to force myself to do anything, all I had to do was follow my joy. One of my greatest teachers once said, “NO ONE can argue your joy”. 

 

I returned home from my journey and felt lighter. I felt as though the dust had finally settled. For the first time in my life, I trusted myself. I gave myself full permission to take the leap and listen to the only thing I was going to take advice from here on out -- my heart. 

 

Within 3 weeks, I dropped out of school, confronted my addiction to Adderall and Klonopin and quit both cold turkey. I acknowledged my eating disorder and began a year long detox and the beginning of my healing journey. That first year of healing was a lateral drift. It was brutal and painful. My nervous system needed to totally reset. I had no other choice but to totally let go, surrender and trust that I was going to be okay. I finally gave myself the space to rest. I nourished my body and began to learn how to take care of myself. I had lived most of my life always in a hurry. I was finally able to just be, experience life, and remember my purpose.

In middle school, I found photography and filmmaking and I identified with being an artist immediately. I am so grateful that I was able to have found a healthy outlet to express my emotions and embody my fierceness so early on. I held it all together pretty well, and graduated from high school at the top of my class. 

 

In college, all of the emotions that I had been ignoring started to get a little too big to handle. They started to manifest physically. From one bizarre illness or condition to the next, I began to realize that I was out of control. I had to do something dramatically different with my life. I found all the ways that I could prop myself up to get through school and working full time. Because I believed that if I didn’t finish school, if I didn’t fit the mold, I would be a failure. The problem was, none of my crutches were sustainable and I was destroying my physical body and crushing my Spirit. I was so disconnected from my truth. I had absolutely no love for myself, and therefore, no love to offer to the world. 

no one can argue your joy. 

Exactly one year after I had left for Ireland, my beloved and I packed up our van and moved to Taos, New Mexico.

 

I spent the entirety of my first summer in Taos outside. Rock climbing, swimming in cold rivers, soaking in hot springs, growing food and volunteering in the community.

 

Held in the embrace of this sacred high desert, where the Sangre De Cristo mountains meet the expansive sagebrush blanketed mesa, I saw my own reflection beckoning me to fully come alive in the biggest, fullest and brightest expression of me. I saw the path forward and I had so much trust and excitement! For the first time in my life, I felt free.

 

For the past two years I have been living in love here in Nuevo México, calling in my home in the desert that my love and I will build with our own two hands. Making films, growing rows and rows of food and forever choosing love over fear.

 I saw my own reflection beckoning me to fully 

 come alive in the biggest, fullest and brightest expression of me.

 

I support my lifestyle by working entirely online promoting health, sustainability and prosperity. I offer guidance and mentorship for conscious entrepreneurs who want to start a heart-led online business. I support them in creating a life that is in their highest truth, finding freedom and making money with their unique story. Learn more about my work here

 

​​Thank you so much for holding space for me and hearing my story. In my heart of hearts, I know that our stories are meant to be shared. 

 

I cannot wait to hear yours. 

In love and gratitude, 

Cal 

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© 2020 by Cal Russe.